The Farrells

The Farrells
Matt, Nicki, Owen and Nora live in the San Francisco Bay area. Matt is a research analyst at CBRE and is loving his job. Nicki spends her time playing with Owen and Nora, reading, crafting, and taking lots of pictures. Owen loves to read, sing, throw toys, and quote movies. Nora is growing quickly and loves to be the center of attention. We have a wonderful life!

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Friday, April 27, 2012

A quick update and some life lessons...

No pictures. Sorry for those of you who live far away. :) Here's a quick update: Nora's screaming is not much better. We've tried gripe water, gas drops, I tried cutting out dairy, and now she's been prescribed medicine for acid reflux. The medicine worked great for the first two days or so - she was a completely different baby. Easy to calm down, much more awake time, much more happy time... though since she's only learned to go to sleep while we're holding her, bedtime was still rough. However, the medicine has started to make her constipated. The poor little girl never really calms down - she's constantly on the edge of crying. She doesn't ever sleep very well, which means she has no schedule. She doesn't take consistent naps, she doesn't go to bed or wake up at a consistent time, etc. Last night she didn't go to bed until 1:30AM. The rest of us, as you can imagine, are pretty wiped out. And our house has been completely forgotten about. In fact, I'm pretty sure Owen currently doesn't have a single pair of pants that are not dirty. It's rough seeing Nora in so much pain all the time. She should be learning, discovering her hands and toys, making lots of sounds, and looking all around at whatever interests her. Instead, she has about 5-10 minutes of happy time in between several hours of fussiness or screaming. Owen has been such a great kid through all of this - he loves to help, he loves to kiss Nora and hold her, he is constantly giving me hugs and (my most favorite recent thing he does) picking wildflowers from outside to bring to me. He's totally willing to read or color or play by himself while I try to calm Nora down. I couldn't ask for a better little boy.

Our next plan is to go back to Nora's doctor and discuss options... we may try taking her off of everything (no gas drops, no acid reflux meds, etc.) and seeing where that gets us. He may also refer us to a pediatric gastroenterologist, to see if they can help her.

So.... what have I learned from all of this? That it's ok for someone to help out. With Owen, I never felt like I had it bad enough that I should be allowed to ask for help (does that make sense?). He was such an easy baby most of the time that when I really needed a break I felt like people would think I was crazy for asking. I also felt embarrassed that my house wasn't always clean or my dishes always done when people came over, so didn't want to ask for help with Owen and have them see my messy house. I'm a very independent person anyway, and prefer to handle things myself. This time, it seems like we have needed exponentially more help than last time. We have lots of family close, and they are totally willing to take Owen or take Nora (even when she's screaming... thank you!!) when we really need a break. We've also had lots of family over to help us clean or even just to let me take a nap for an hour. In addition, we have an awesome ward - it really is like a tight-knit family - that has been so helpful. So many people have brought us food or baby things, or offered to have Owen over for a playdate, or taken Nora from me so I didn't have to stand and bounce her all the way through church or through an activity. And so the most important thing I've learned: I still don't like to ask for help (though I'm getting much better at it). But now, when people offer, I accept. Which made me realize that instead of waiting till people ask for help, I need to offer what I can, because though they may need it, they may never ask for help.

Anyway. Sorry for the lack of pictures and the general grumpiness of this post. There may not be a whole lot of posting or pictures in the next couple of weeks. We're hoping to get Nora all sorted out, and once that happens, we really need some serious family time. Our cute little Owen boy needs to have lots of mom and dad time, since all he gets now is half of my attention while Nora is screaming in my other arm, or the 20 or so minutes when I can get her to sleep during the day, plus whatever Matt has left over after helping me in the middle of the night with a screaming baby and then going to work all day.

Thanks so much to all our family who have been helping us - we love and appreciate all of you guys, and are so grateful that we're able to live so close. We'll try to post updates when things improve.


Marisa said...

Ugh I am so sorry Nicki; that's ROUGH. I will take your kiddos anytime you need a nap/break so add me to the list. I mean it!

KarenA said...

I'm so sorry Nicki. Wish I could be there to help.